University IV

There was an extremely attractive librarian at the main Uwist library.  However, she was always surrounded by an assortment of the more colourful students, the guys who thought hippies were cool in the 70's, the rasta hair styles, army surplus clothing.   You get the picture.  This lovely lass was also the one who kept chasing me for overdue books.  I made the mistake of replying to her exasperated request for me to show a little responsibility by uttering a mild Belfast rebuke, "how would you like a smack on the kisser", this in front of her older senior librarian.  This lady, of German extract, was heard to say, in a heavy German accent, "zat yung men is a rough diamond".  This would come back to haunt her in later years.

I realized I could not compete with her youthful following so resorted to my old backup.  I started bringing her in food parcels and sliding them over the library desk then scuttling off stage right.  The break through came at one of our parties.  She came with an equally attractive librarian friend who already knew some of our guys.  I zeroed in and as luck would have it she was a fan of D H Lawrence.  Talked the night away about his books and poetry.  Definitely some learning points for you young bucks out there.  What works with intelligent women in no apparent order:
Food
Talking about Food
Poetry
Talking about Poetry (the hard bit is knowing what you are talking about)
 Music
Talking about Music (ditto above)
Ballet or Opera
Talking about Ballet or Opera (again ditto above)
And if all this fails, my personal favourite, get yourself a little west highland terrier, preferably white,  and plant yourself outside an M& S shop.  Before long you will be talking to a multitude of extremely attractive ladies.  The beauty of this approach is that it cuts out the uncomfortable first 15 mins of what to say, they approach you and want to talk about and touch your dog.  No more chat up lines such as "got any Welsh in you.....like a bit or like a bit more, ugh!!  Both you and the lady feel safe, which then allows an introduction and perhaps much more.  This is tried and tested, believe me.

As a consequence of meeting my librarian beauty I only got a 2/2, spent most of that final year in bed.  The 2/2 was later and wisely demoted to a 3rd class by the external examiner from Liverpool University.  One of the guys was demoted from a pass to a fail, four years wasted some would say but hey, what fun.